It's a rare occasion when Woody Allen speaks to the press, and even rarer still when he does so in Los Angeles--yet that's exactly what he did on Friday, June 15 at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills, the afternoon after his latest film, To Rome with Love, made its American premiere at Film Independent's Los Angeles Film Festival. The great, ironic revelation of the day was how the notoriously press-shy writer/director/actor is a natural in a press conference setting: sharp as a tack, quick with a witty quip--and, of course, never shying away from any opportunity at self-deprecation. Since mere text transcription can never do proper justice to Allen's unmistakable voice (literal and figurative), here is nearly a half-hour of pure Woody: his humor, his quirks, his smarts.